I'll start off saying that my family is not perfect. We've had our fair share of arguments and fights. But the domestic church that we call family has been an integral part of my growing up. I have watched my parents work together on many things, like planning a vacation, which may not seem like much but can be very strenuous. My mom has instilled the Christian faith and values that she desires to see reflected in both my brother and me.
The structure of marriage, unfortunately, has taken a turn for the worse. I think that people do not take the commitment of marriage as seriously anymore, although some couples do uphold the values of marriage. In addition, like Gigi, some people have this idea that there is an absolutely perfect person out there. I don't think that there is a perfect person out there, but rather one who accepts and complements every part of you, even the clingy, needy parts of Gigi. The flexibility of relationships now allow for individuals not to be pressured into marriage, like Neil. Decades ago, Beth and Neil's relationship would have been looked down upon, but presently, this way of living is neither condemned nor condoned.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Love Story
My parents met through a mutual friend, Professor Thomas, who gave each family the other's contact information. The two family's talked and my mom's parents went to my dad's house and talked to him and his parents. My dad and his parents were invited to my mom's house, where my parents first met in person. They talked about what they liked to do and their work. My mom had previous proposals but liked my dad much better. After mulling over the decision for a month of whether or not to marry my mom, my dad agreed to the marriage. My dad's father was not for the marriage because he would not receive as high of dowry but my dad's mother was fine with the marriage because she loved my mom. They were engaged before they started dating. At the engagement, which was held in March of 1990, rings were exchanged and the marriage was officially announced. For the next three months, my parents dated. My dad visited her and they wrote letters to each other. Their first date was at a coffee shop near my mom's hospital. On June 16, 1990, my parents were married at my dad's church.
Over the years, my parents have struggled through a lot, like moving to a new country, completing hectic medical training, and raising two kids. These struggles, though, have enhanced their relationship and helped them to bond really well, promoting a solid foundation for their future together. They don't really show their love outwardly but rather say that their love is understood between the two of them. Of course, they still hug every once in a while. They have grown together with God and my mom has definitely been the one to bring my dad closer to God, since he was not religious early in his life.
Based off my parents' story, all relationships do not need to have started in college to be successful. People do not have to date for six years to figure out they want to get married. Nevertheless, I do not want an arranged marriage. I would rather find someone on my own and try to get to know them for some time. My parents' relationship is not like any others on TV or in movies. It's not the stereotypical arranged marriage where the bride is forced to marry a random stranger she's never seen before but it's definitely not like a high school sweetheart marriage, like The Notebook. My parents' marriage is definitely not something to be compared to Kim Kardashian's "marriage" to Kris Humphries. (Can you even call that a marriage?) My parents have committed themselves to a life long marriage.
I would use Adele's "Make You Feel My Love" to describe my parents' relationship. Adele sings, "The storms are raging on the rolling sea / And on the highway of regret / The wings of change are blowing wild and free." The storms, I would say, are the difficulties that my parents faced in the beginning of their marriage. But in the end, their love grew and was cultivated.
Over the years, my parents have struggled through a lot, like moving to a new country, completing hectic medical training, and raising two kids. These struggles, though, have enhanced their relationship and helped them to bond really well, promoting a solid foundation for their future together. They don't really show their love outwardly but rather say that their love is understood between the two of them. Of course, they still hug every once in a while. They have grown together with God and my mom has definitely been the one to bring my dad closer to God, since he was not religious early in his life.
Based off my parents' story, all relationships do not need to have started in college to be successful. People do not have to date for six years to figure out they want to get married. Nevertheless, I do not want an arranged marriage. I would rather find someone on my own and try to get to know them for some time. My parents' relationship is not like any others on TV or in movies. It's not the stereotypical arranged marriage where the bride is forced to marry a random stranger she's never seen before but it's definitely not like a high school sweetheart marriage, like The Notebook. My parents' marriage is definitely not something to be compared to Kim Kardashian's "marriage" to Kris Humphries. (Can you even call that a marriage?) My parents have committed themselves to a life long marriage.
I would use Adele's "Make You Feel My Love" to describe my parents' relationship. Adele sings, "The storms are raging on the rolling sea / And on the highway of regret / The wings of change are blowing wild and free." The storms, I would say, are the difficulties that my parents faced in the beginning of their marriage. But in the end, their love grew and was cultivated.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Dating
After reading, both perspectives make valid points but I agree with Freitas and King. Dating is not all about sex and it shouldn't be all about sex. If it is, then it's not dating...it's sex. I don't think high school relationships are absolutely necessary, but of course we all dream about the story of the star athlete and his cheer leading girlfriend or the couple that dates throughout high school and college and eventually gets married. Everything requires a balance. Dating should not consume all your time, nor should schoolwork. It's important to develop relationships (romantic or not romantic) with others. Dating gives individuals an opportunity to learn about themselves and others. It allows them to see which type of people they are compatible with and and which type of people they are not compatible with. Nevertheless, dating should not be just a series of three month relationships. If that's the case, you need to prioritize.
Many high school and college students date, which is fine and normal and probably very necessary. But I really do not like the hook up culture. I find it trashy and definitely not classy. Do you really want to be known as the girl that hooked up with thirteen different guys in one semester? I find it funny that people think hooking up is easier than going out for coffee. Yes, it does take a lot of guts to ask someone out but isn't it better to know their name than to randomly swap saliva with someone you'll probably never see again?
Physical love in dating relationships is also an aspect that makes dating..dating. People enjoy the feeling of being wanted or missed or cuddled. I don't promote premarital sex but I don't degrade forms of affection between couples (although excessive PDA is never appreciated).
Many high school and college students date, which is fine and normal and probably very necessary. But I really do not like the hook up culture. I find it trashy and definitely not classy. Do you really want to be known as the girl that hooked up with thirteen different guys in one semester? I find it funny that people think hooking up is easier than going out for coffee. Yes, it does take a lot of guts to ask someone out but isn't it better to know their name than to randomly swap saliva with someone you'll probably never see again?
Physical love in dating relationships is also an aspect that makes dating..dating. People enjoy the feeling of being wanted or missed or cuddled. I don't promote premarital sex but I don't degrade forms of affection between couples (although excessive PDA is never appreciated).
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Some Say Love
Love manifests itself in many ways that take on many forms. Presently, love has been confused with sex, and this misrepresentation is found in a majority of songs. On the other hand, some love songs overdo the sappiness that comes with first time love. In Enrique Iglesias's "Hero," he says, "I can be your hero, baby/ I can kiss away the pain/ I will stand by you forever/ You can take my breath away."
How long is all that supposed to last?
Given, he may have just fallen in love and wants to give everything and be everything for this girl. And maybe that is a quality of love that we should look forward to. But over time, it may become something that is inherently expected, but sometimes your significant other may not be able to give you advice or to be there for you.
In OneRepublic's "Counting Stars," the singer reflects on how he and his lover were struggling (financially, etc). I think this song provides a more accurate reflection because no one should expect their significant other to be able to take care of everything. Prince Charming isn't able to make all your money problems go away. And adapting to difficult situations, whether or not they are financial, takes effort from both people and could actually cultivate a better, stronger, and healthier relationship between the two.
"Say Something" by A Great Big World featuring Christina Aguilera has one, pretty powerful line: "And I will swallow my pride." Pride can definitely take a negative toll on any relationship and I think it's something that shouldn't be completely absent but it should not be completely present. Couples should be proud to be with the man or woman they are with. But sometimes pride can override the fundamental weaknesses that many couples face. A man can feel too proud to admit to his guy friends that he actually doesn't want to hang out with them on Friday and would much rather watch a movie at home with his wife/girlfriend. And if this keeps happening, the woman can feel second to her lover's friends. And of course this can happen the other way around.
Throwing it back to The Backstreet Boys' "As Long As You Love Me," the chorus says, "I don't care who you are/ or where you're from/ or what you did/ as long as you love me."As cute and sentimental as it is...I don't really agree with it. I personally do care who you are and where you're from and what you did because all of these things reflect your character. They reflect who you are as a person and what you can bring to a relationship and how compatible we would be.
Finally, one of my favorite songs is Ryan Huston's "Love You Forever," which carries a very typical message: "I'll love you forever/ I'll like you for always/...Together we'll be." This reflects the kind of love we're all looking for: someone who will love us and be there for us every single day. It's hard to find which is why people sometimes wait too long to get married. And then they feel like they've settled for less if their significant other doesn't fulfill all these things. But love and marriage is something that helps you grow. You can know everything about a person but not know the person. It's better to learn to love someone instead of finding your "soul mate."
How long is all that supposed to last?
Given, he may have just fallen in love and wants to give everything and be everything for this girl. And maybe that is a quality of love that we should look forward to. But over time, it may become something that is inherently expected, but sometimes your significant other may not be able to give you advice or to be there for you.
In OneRepublic's "Counting Stars," the singer reflects on how he and his lover were struggling (financially, etc). I think this song provides a more accurate reflection because no one should expect their significant other to be able to take care of everything. Prince Charming isn't able to make all your money problems go away. And adapting to difficult situations, whether or not they are financial, takes effort from both people and could actually cultivate a better, stronger, and healthier relationship between the two.
"Say Something" by A Great Big World featuring Christina Aguilera has one, pretty powerful line: "And I will swallow my pride." Pride can definitely take a negative toll on any relationship and I think it's something that shouldn't be completely absent but it should not be completely present. Couples should be proud to be with the man or woman they are with. But sometimes pride can override the fundamental weaknesses that many couples face. A man can feel too proud to admit to his guy friends that he actually doesn't want to hang out with them on Friday and would much rather watch a movie at home with his wife/girlfriend. And if this keeps happening, the woman can feel second to her lover's friends. And of course this can happen the other way around.
Throwing it back to The Backstreet Boys' "As Long As You Love Me," the chorus says, "I don't care who you are/ or where you're from/ or what you did/ as long as you love me."As cute and sentimental as it is...I don't really agree with it. I personally do care who you are and where you're from and what you did because all of these things reflect your character. They reflect who you are as a person and what you can bring to a relationship and how compatible we would be.
Finally, one of my favorite songs is Ryan Huston's "Love You Forever," which carries a very typical message: "I'll love you forever/ I'll like you for always/...Together we'll be." This reflects the kind of love we're all looking for: someone who will love us and be there for us every single day. It's hard to find which is why people sometimes wait too long to get married. And then they feel like they've settled for less if their significant other doesn't fulfill all these things. But love and marriage is something that helps you grow. You can know everything about a person but not know the person. It's better to learn to love someone instead of finding your "soul mate."
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